The Folly of Sali

Bryan Fischer is a big supporter of democracy; at least when his side wins. The 2008 general election was six months ago, but still Fischer seethes over congressman Bill Sali’s loss to Democrat Walt Minnick. Now a Democrat unseating a Republican in Idaho is about as likely as Brandi Swindell getting a real job, but it happened in 2008. In fact, Bill Sali is the first Idaho congressperson in 56 years who failed to win a second term.

For those familiar with Sali’s record as an Idaho legislator, his loss is no surprise. Known for his blow and bluster, Sali once forced a breast cancer survivor to leave a room in tears following a heated debate over his insistence on discussing a fabricated link between abortion and cancer. His own Republican colleagues have stripped him of a committee chairmanship and multiple other memberships, and former Republican Speaker Bruce Newcomb is on the record calling him an ‘absolute idiot.’

An Idaho Statesman investigation into an insurance claim made by Sali reveals him describing his own mental faculties thusly:


For those who do not know Sali, he’s the kind of guy who farts in bed and traps his wife under the duvet. He’s the gross uncle who picks his nose at Thanksgiving dinner and doesn’t stop giving ‘wet willies’ long after the joke stops being funny. Now imagine he’s a mediocre attorney with no respect among his peers. That’s Bill.

Sali’s three years in congress were a catalogue of tomfoolery and embarrassment for Idaho. He once famously proposed to the House of Representatives a bill to repeal the law of gravity. Within weeks of taking office, he was forced to apologize for claiming that the Founding Fathers never intended for Muslims to serve in congress. Sali also claimed erroneously – and with appalling stupidity – that oil can be extracted from trees.

So relieved were Sali’s colleagues to see him lose that Republican Representative Mike Simpson hilariously offered advice on relocating to Washington DC to Walt Minnick before Sali even conceded electoral defeat.

Yet Fischer continues to propose wild theories on Sali’s loss. In addition to supporting an abstract conspiracy surrounding a powerful cabal of Mexican immigrants orchestrating Minnick's victory, Bryan alleged recently that ‘Minnick essentially bought his congressional seat.’

Yes Bryan, the only reason Minnick won is because he outspent a Republican incumbent in the most Republican disctrict in an overwhelmingly Republican state. Forget the fact that incumbents are almost always outspent by their challengers.

Fischer remains unable to believe that the voters of the 1st Congressional District simply chose to rid themselves of the silly oaf because of his general incompetence and failure to represent Idaho’s best interests.

Face it Fischer, your man lost fair and square.